Photo by Juan Montalvo
Not Pictured: #7 Butter & Jam, #61 Pressure Cooker, Slaybia Majora (Coach)
Back in the days of disco and decent blow, a rising Christian roller derby team, the S.F. Saints, was making their way across the Bay Bridge to play their long-time rivals, the Oakland Orthodox, at a People’s Temple revival. When suddenly, in the midst of their singing gospels, a dark-tinted sedan cut in front of the team’s bus, and sent them directly into the icy waves below. They were gone.
Instead of being met by their Lord Almighty, they were sucked into the fiery pits of hell, straight into the arms of the devil with a cackling Jim Jones at his side. Jim had gone a little bonkers after the “failure in Guyana” and had turned his obsessions elsewhere. Between daily rantings over the loudspeakers in Jonestown whilst still in his earthly realm, he’d become a raging roller derby fanatic. In his new incarnation, Jim, had convinced the devil to summon the team in order to fulfill his desire to form an army of all-girl zombie skaters who would become the best team in the living world. His proposition? Their souls in exchange for an eternal existence as ShEvil, un-dead, roller derby stars. Led by Mandi Festo, the ShEvil undead crew agreed to swap their souls for the chance to derby for eternity.
The newly pronounced S.F. ShEvil Dead were born and, after climbing through the rotting flesh of a cemetery in Daly City, found themselves standing on a rink, in front of thousands of cheering fans. They’re yearning to fulfill their promises to their newfound destiny by meeting, competing, beating and eating their opponents.
Bobby Dazzler – Cassius May – Fluezy – Gori Spelling – Harsh Mello – HummVee – Kid Ace (c) – Kimfectious – Korn Holy-O – Lithium – Moxxxie (c) – Pearl Bones – Pressure Cooker – laybia Majora – Spiller – Sweet Sherry Pie – Tarah Bishop – Thea Venger – Xpress Lane Jane – Zia Later
2015 Home Team Record: 1-3
Photo by Rick Marr
Bronny Bonebreaker – Dorothy Dread – Cassius May – Humm Vee – Kid Ace (c) – Kimfectious – Korn Holy-O – Mae K. Haste – Mean Burrito – Nurse Lithium – Pearl Bones – Sherlock Homeslice – Silver Foxxy – slaybia majora – Tarah Bishop – Thea Venger – trixie pixie – Selby – Zia Later
2014 Home Team Record: 0-4
Photo by Mr. Moxxxie
belle RIGHT hooks – Bunny Utah – Dorothy Dread – Edith Shred – HumVee – Kid Ace (c) – Kimfectious – Lulu Lockjaw – Luv U. Longtime – Mae K. Haste – Mars Attack – Mean Burrito – Miss Moxxxie – Nock Nock – Nurse Lithium – Silver Foxxy – Sherlock Home Slice (c) – Slaybia Majora – Sugar Pusher – Tarah Bishop – trixie pixie
2013 Home Team Record: 2-2
Photo by Mr. Moxxxie
belle RIGHT hooks – BooYaYa! – Bunny Utah – Dorothy Dread – Edith Shred – Freddie Bruiser – Kid Ace – Kimfectious (c) – Lulu Lockjaw – Luv U. Longtime – Mars Attack – Miss Moxxxie – Momentum Mori – Nock Nock – Sherlock Home Slice – Slaybia Majora – Sugar Pusher (c) – sweet thunder – Tarah Bishop – trixie pixie – D. Molly Schur
2012 Home Team Record: 3-1
belle ‘right’ hooks – BooYaYa! – D. Molly Schur – Dorothy Dread – Edith Shred – Freddie Bruiser – Kim Fectious – Luv. U. Longtime – Miss Moxxxie – Nock Nock – Reppa Rations – Sassy Slayher – Sugar Pusher – Sweet Thunder – Tarah Bishop – The Dakota Kid – Tae Kwon Ho (c) -Trixie Pixie (c). Spiritual advisors: Motley Cruz, Rioter’s BLOCK
2011 Home Team Record: 1-2