Misery Loves Company (MLC) is comprised of existing skaters from leagues all over the California Bay Area as well as high level retired skaters looking to play anyone at anytime. Misery Loves Company will take on the Tampa Bruise Crew in a regulation game at the 2017 Golden Bowl on Friday June 16 at 8 pm. Watch their game live on BADtv!
It’s that time of year again. Top skaters throughout Bay Area Derby have come together to create the 2017 Bay Area Travel Team. Our travel team is comprised of the All-Stars (WFTDA charter skaters) and Team Gold (B-level skaters). Last year, Team Gold racked up a 4-0 winning season against tough competition. The Bay Area B squad amassed two wins against the Sacred City Derby Girls, a 28 point victory against Santa Cruz, and a solid win against Arizona Roller Derby’s Phoenix Rising. The All-Stars went 4-4 in the regular season and 1-2 at the Division One WFTDA Playoffs in Montreal. Bay Area arguably had one of the most dramatic and memorable games at the 2016 playoffs against the Montreal New Skids on the Block—hosts and home crowd favorites of the tournament. Montreal won the 3rd place ticket to Championships, leaving the BAD All Stars to close the chapter on their 2016 story.
No longer skating with the All Stars are wily jammers, Skrappie, who is pursuing higher education in medicine, and Huck Sinn, who has refocused her derby interests on coaching and blocking for the Oakland Outlaws. Team captain Brawllen Angel noted that “the wiry jamming and tongue-in-cheek wit from our ‘kid brother’ will always be missed.” Other team losses include skaters from the All Stars and Team Gold rosters: Mean Burrito, Ames to Maim, Biggie Brawls, Domme Juan, Korn Holy-O, and Chasing Amy. The biggest news for the 2017 team are recent transfers of note. Stef Mainey, previously on London Rollergirls, and Cassie Beck aka Raven Evergore, previously of Rat City Rollergirls, have both made the Golden City their new home. Additionally, the 4closer, formerly of Sacred City Derby Girls, has joined the BAD All Stars’ jamming rotation. New to the team, former speed skater Dani Rueda has been making moves on the San Francisco Shevil Dead since 2016 as Danymite and living up to her derby name as Brawllen Angel describes her as a “firecracker of a jammer.”
Brawllen Angel and Murderyn Monroe are most looking forward to hosting the 2017 Golden Bowl next month. Teams from near and far will travel to the Bay Area for an exciting weekend of competitive WFTDA roller derby. The All Stars will play teams from Vancouver, Tampa, and Boston all which will be streamed live on BADtv.
Coming from an array of backgrounds, these announcers all have unique styles and a lot of knowledge about roller derby. They like to talk about derby. Some of them even play(ed) derby. Without further ado, we’re excited to shed some spotlight on the mouths behind the mic for this year’s Golden Bowl.
(Tournament Head Announcer, Bay Area Derby)
Mox is an original member of BAD and is proud to have skated with the San Francisco ShEvil Dead, the Bay Area All-Stars, and Team Cruz. Though Mox is now derby-retired and has made the seemingly inevitable switch from whiskey to rosé, she still knows how to let the good times roll.
(Bay Area Derby)
Bay Area Derby Announcer, Emeritus Official, Full Access, Zero Accountability. He was born talking like this. He describes what everyone just saw with their own eyes and is thereby held in high esteem by his peers.
(Bay Area Derby)
In her sixth season as a Richmond Wrecking Belle and third season as a jammer on the Bay Area All Stars, Eva is excited to now add announcing to her repertoire. The 2017 Golden Bowl will serve as her second time on the mic.
(Bay Area Derby)
Wrecks skates with BAD’s Richmond Wrecking Belles and Team Korea. She has a big mouth/loud voice. Most of the time this gets her into trouble, so she’s grateful for an outlet where those two assets are treasured.
(Bay Area Derby)
Kimfectious has skated with BAD, SVRG and RMRG. As a stand-up comedian, announcing is the marriage of both her favorite things: roller skates and talking into microphones.
(Bay Area Derby)
Hammer is a recently retired BAD skater who got tired of keeping up with the youngsters. While playing derby, Hammer donned black and gold for the All Stars and will always be an Oakland Outlaw at heart.
(North Star Roller Girls)
After four years as an NSO, Tober took up space behind a microphone and hasn’t stopped rambling since. A true narwhal, she resides in Minneapolis, MN as a member of the North Star Roller Girls’ board of governors. Though her spare time is limited, it is mostly filled with sitting in the sun, drinking gin, and reading anything with words on it.
(Sin City Rollergirls)
Chloroform Cupcake, aka Cakes, has been a traveling announcer for the past five years and considers herself a ‘rum-person’. Cakes has moved from Sin City Las Vegas territory to the Midwest Chicagoland MRDA and WFTDA region. After 7 years of roller derby experience, Cakes looks forward to being bi-coastally educated.
(Peninsula Roller Girls)
Maimy is both Head Announcer and Head NSO for Redwood City’s Peninsula Roller Girls, and you guys, she is so tired. She comes to derby with over 20 years of experience in MCing and improvisational comedy. She’s making a real effort to not swear over the mic this time.
(Sac City Rollers)
Nikki started playing derby in 2006 with the Sac City Rollers. After a knee injury in 2008, she stopped competing and became a coach and ref. Nikki started announcing in 2009 and has served as head announcer for the Dustbowl Tournament as well as Sac City’s Red Red Holiday. She loves talking derby!
LAWRENCE OF A LABIA
(Sana Cruz Derby Girls)
Lawrence of a Labia is your friendly neighborhood lesbro. She first picked up the mic three years ago for a bunch of dirty hippies playing derby at Burning Man and has been calling the game for Santa Cruz and leagues around the Bay Area ever since. Give her a whiskey and she’ll tell you a dirty joke.
Officials from all over the US are coming together in the Bay Area for this year’s Golden Bowl to help ensure all games are run safely and fairly.
TOURNAMENT HEAD REFEREE (THR)
Fans of roller derby officiating will immediately recognize the 2017 Golden Bowl Head Referee, Loren Order, because of her renowned politeness, attention to detail, and fact that she has been involved with roller derby for over a decade. With over 11 years of officiating experience and an enviable resume, Loren has steadily and unassumingly amassed a wealth of playoff experience and acute gameplay knowledge which makes her the perfect candidate for THR of the 2017 Golden Bowl. Loren is an official affiliated with Denver Roller Derby. Her list of WFTDA postseason credits include multiple Division 1 positions as well as Crew Head Ref at the 2016 WFTDA Championships. As honored as she feels to be selected for any spot, Loren keeps coming back for the lifelong friendships and awesomeness of the derby community.
TOURNAMENT HEAD NON-SKATING OFFICIAL (THNSO)
Initially only California leagues were blessed with the amazingness brought to every event by the 2017 Golden Bowl Head Non-Skating Official, TaraByte, but for 5 years now, derby leagues worldwide have gotten to experience the professionalism and acumen that Tara brings to every event. From her start in 2009 with San Jose’s Silicon Valley Roller Girls, Tara has worked regulation and sanctioned games far and wide. Her tournament resume includes NSO Crew Head positions at WFTDA Division 1 Playoffs in Sacramento 2014 and Wichita 2016 and her most thrilling postseason memory, scorekeeper for the heart stopping 2015 WFTDA Championship game. It is her derby family who gives her the greatest joy, and she relishes working high level games just as much as training rookie officials.
Wernher Von Bombed
Freddy Mercury Poisoning
Colin M. Fairly
May the Force
Wizard of Laws
Butt Force Trauma
Strong Female Character
Despite unfortunate player injuries and mid-season retirements, the Berkeley Resistance persevered with a smaller roster and took the title of BAD Season Champs for the second year in a row. In 2016, skaters stepped into new roles and pushed themselves individually. In 2017, the team plans to build upon those skills and hone a team culture filled with hard work and derby love. One thing is for certain– no one is underestimating Berkeley this year.
2016 Home Record: 3-1, 1st Place
All-time League Record: 11-12
Player Losses: #4 Joss Hole, #10 Foxy Throwdown, #30 Mad M. Barbrawl, #31 Frightmare, #43 Jambee, #137 KillA Beezy
Player Additions: #13 Stef Mainey, #707 Killer Kapowski, #785 Yosemighty
Berkeley saw a few changes in their 2016 roster, including the loss of six skaters. Due to commitments outside of derby (there’s life outside of derby?) longtime Berkeley skaters, Joss Hole and Mad M. Barbrawl, both took leaves of absences which transitioned to retirements. The ever acrobatic and smiley blocker, Jambee, took some time away from roller derby to focus on other pursuits. Foxy Throwdown and KillA Beezy, two tall blocking forces, also took their BAD departure after the 2016 championship. The Resistance’s only hit to their jammer rotation was losing Frightmare, former Berkeley coach, first to a mid-season injury last year and then, this year, to ShEvil Dead. According to Dirty Lil Trick, “Frightmare is Dead to us.” #dadjoke
This year, co-coaches Pomba and Dirty Lil Trick plan on leading the team to a third successive league championship by pushing the team to new heights with advanced strategy while reinforcing the importance of fundamentals and team culture which the Resistance spent the past few years developing. That means fans will still see unrelenting defensive packs led by pivots, Pomba and Dirty Lil Trick, rounded out with solid blockers such as veteran Gretchen Vomette, Shenghis Khan, Illuminaughty, Rosie Cheeks, and Hines. Stef Mainey, new to BAD but not new to derby (so we’ve heard), joins the Resistance as a blocker who could possibly don the pivot or jammer hat if needed. Killer Kapowski is also a new addition to the team and while she may not be as experienced she makes up for it with determination, hard work, and an eagerness to learn.
The usual three pink-clad suspects will be wearing the star: experienced and powerful seam buster Brawllen Angel, wily and constantly evolving April Bloodgate, and ever patient and sneaky Chasing Amy. New draftee Yoesmighty is joining Berkeley’s jammer rotation and will no doubt pick up some tips and tricks from her talented teammates.
Despite not even filling out a full game roster of fourteen skaters, the Berkeley baker’s dozen is a strong team jam-packed with skill and determination. “This group feels like family and we all skate for each other,” Pomba confirms. Continuing a trend from years past, the Resistance does not believe they have one star player but rather their success is drawn from each and every player who brings something different to the track. Their individual skills cannot be denied but the team focuses on working as a cohesive unit.
The Berkeley Resistance is putting plenty of track time in before their first BAD game for the 2017 team to gel. March 11, they traveled to Santa Cruz to take on the Boardwalk Bombshells and April 8-9 they can be seen in down in LA playing three games in Angel City’sTinseltown Showdown. They play the Richmond Wrecking Belles in a closed bout at BAD HQ on April 22 which fans can follow along via BADtv or Twitter. Come out and cheer for Berkeley at their next public bout on May 13 against the Oakland Outlaws at the Station. Check out the discounted BAD Deal which gets you general admission access to all remaining games at the Station (Oakland) AND Champs at the Craneway Pavilion (Richmond).
Bay Area Derby’s winningest team, the Richmond Wrecking Belles, can look back on their last two seasons as a 24 month blip on an otherwise victorious timeline that has included dizzying heights of derby awesomeness and the most league championships in Bay Area Derby’s history. Despite only winning four league games the last two seasons, fans of the blue and yellow have something to be excited about with improvements to Richmond’s roster which will most certainly position them as a prominent player in the 2017 BAD home season.
Player Additions: #12 T. Wrecks, #747 Snakes Anna Plane, #44 The 4Closer, #67 Rose Villain
The end of last season was the off-ramp for seven Wrecking Belles, including five Richmond legends: original BAD Girl Diva Negativa hung up her skates after ten seasons, All-Star and Richmond jamming phenom Skrappie headed off to medical school, the indomitable Biggie Brawls drew up plans to complete her architect licensing, the notoriously devastating Kutya Cackoff craft brewed her dream job in Hawaii, and feisty pivot Skatelyn has decided to take her derby journey travel team only. These losses could have been a significant setback for the Wrecking Belles, but the derby gods had some surprises in store for Richmond in the form of three amazing off-season transfers and the return from retirement of one extra special, glittery player.
On the offensive side of the roster, Richmond is excited to welcome back fleet-footed jammer Lex Pistol. Bay Area All-Star and veritable force of nature Eva Menace returns to the jammer line for the Belles, and fans and opponents alike should watch out for the crafty and cat-like moves of Snide Boob when she’s donning the star. These three jammers plus a few additions promise to return Richmond’s offense to the high scoring enterprise longtime Wrecking Belles fans have come to expect.
Defensively, the Belles are beyond excited to welcome back an icon of roller derby–absent for most of the 2016 season due to injury–with Demanda Riot on the track, time’s up for the opposition. Joining her on the line for her eleventh season with Bay Area, the experienced and blocking terror Liza Machete is back under the pivot cap to stifle jammers and wreak general havoc for opponents. Versatile Richmond defenders, co-captain Chiquita Bonanza and Jirsa, transform blocking to a fine art, and look for Mad 4 Gravy to bring the pain with a side of neon sizzle in her fashion. Rounding out Richmond’s returning roster are the methodical and calculated co-captain Sterling Archer and Moxi Skate Team standout Dita de los Muertos.
Fates have conspired to also drop three prime off-season transfers plus the return of a Richmond alumnus onto the 2017 Wrecking Belles. Back for more fun after taking a season off, T. Wrecks returns complete with cat memes and a not-so-subtle defensive style. Snakes Anna Plane, transfer from Humboldt Roller Derby, is excited to bring high flying terror to her opponents and, in a complete coup for Richmond, two legends of California roller derby from Sacred City Derby Girls add their experience to an already enviable roster – the stalwart blocker Rose Villain and the astounding and prolific jammer The 4Closer.
With a preseason full of extensive training, advanced strategic coaching from Demanda Riot and Coach Pink Ranger, and a season warm up bout, which took place March 13 in Sacramento, versus the Sacred City Derby Girls, the Richmond Wrecking Belles are ready to dominate in 2017. They play the Berkeley Resistance in a closed bout at BAD HQ on April 22 which fans can follow along via BADtv or Twitter. Come out and support the Wrecking Belles at their next public bout on June 3 versus the San Francisco ShEvil Dead at the Station. Check out the discounted BAD Deal which gets you general admission access to all remaining games at the Station (Oakland) AND Champs at the Craneway Pavilion (Richmond).
#000 Demanda Riot || #1 Liza Machete || #4 Mad 4 Gravy || #8 Snide Boob || #11 Lex Pistol || #12 T. Wrecks || #13 Dita de los Muertos || #20 Eva Menace || #22 Jirsa || #44 The 4Closer || #67 Rose Villain || #323 Chiquita Bonanza || #747 Snakes Anna Plane || #925 Sterling Archer
Bad Astral has been reporting on roller derby in Northern California and beyond since 2009.
The Bay Area Derby season opener pitted the San Francisco ShEvil Dead against the Oakland Outlaws in an early evening bout. It was a warm and sunny day in Oakland at BAD’s new venue, The Station. The track was drawn with concrete and tape, just like in the derby days of yore, and the skaters wore sunglasses in addition to their protective gear. The bout started 10 minutes late so the sold-out crowd had time to be admitted.
First to the jammer line for ShEvil was #68 Danymite against #333 Dreadzilla for the Outlaws. The first jam was a cut and dry quick pass and score, 4-0, ShEvil.
With 26 minutes remaining in the first half, #31 Frightmare for ShEvil, was first through the pack with a no pass, no penalty and was not awarded lead. This gave opportunity for #99 Pizza Party of Oakland to get lead and immediately call off the jam at 0-0.
Throughout the next six jams, ShEvil and their triangle defense got lead jam every single time and held Oakland scoreless until about 22 minutes left in the first half. Finally, #313 Smother Mary of the Outlaws snuck in a quick 4 points before Frightmare called off the jam: 24-4, ShEvil Dead.
With a new ruleset in place, the first few bouts of the season are always a little tricky for the referees and skaters alike. Numerous “legal” cuts occurred, with a delay in penalty and/or a delay in player yield. At one point, #246 Sinnabar cut the track, waited to make eye contact with the ref, then took a step off the track and went to the back of the pack to try her pass again. The latest ruleset says a cut penalty may be avoided if advantage is immediately yielded.
In the next jam, Dreadzilla of the Outlaws made a high and tight toe stop pass on the outside line to get lead. ShEvil jammer, #212 Xpress Lane Jane, removed her helmet cover and passed it to the pivot, who was immediately assessed a low block penalty. Score 25-12, ShEvil.
The second half of the first quarter began with a new heat as the skaters adjusted to the concrete and sunshine. Oakland’s Pizza Party got out of the pack first but was immediately sent to the penalty box. This gave Frightmare the opportunity to pass the star to #89 Mean Burrito, adding two grand slams (10 points) to ShEvil’s total score. Meanwhile, #410 Ames to Maim of Oakland was assessed a direction of game play penalty, and sunglasses were seen flying to the inside and the outside of the track. Score 46-19, ShEvil.
With 10 minutes left in the first half, the announcement came over the loudspeaker that the bout had officially sold out. By now the teams were trading off lead jammer every other jam, with Danymite of ShEvil and Pizza Party of Oakland having the most success. Score at the half: 89-51, ShEvil Dead.
The ShEvil Dead returned to the track for the second half in force and continued to dominate the lead jammer ratio. On a particularly impressive pass, Frightmare turned backwards and passed on the inside of the apex for lead jammer and a grand slam aided by fierce ShEvil blocking from Mean Burrito and #404 Permab&.
With 24 minutes remaining in the game, Oakland’s jammer Dreadzilla earned lead jammer but committed a back block penalty on her scoring pass, leaving Frightmare to contend with Oakland’s brutal blockers for a full two minute jam. After scoring 15 points of her own and with Dreadzilla back on the track, Frightmare played a bit of defense to knock out and drew a cut track penalty on the Oakland jammer. ShEvil kept hold of the lead: 111-64.
A staple of roller derby is the intense vigor and passion of the final 15 minutes of game play. ShEvil jammer Xpress Lane Jane spent almost an entire minute being pummeled by an unrelenting #7 Murderyn Monroe, #45 Lethally Blonde, and #64 Mary Prankster three-wall which allowed Oakland jammer #85 Butt’N MashHer to score a grand slam, but it did little to close the score gap. Oakland wasn’t about to go quietly into the night, and, maximizing a power jam opportunity by fielding #10 Huck Sinn (aka Tiger Beat) as jammer, the mighty Outlaws were able to put up 22 points bringing them within 30 points of ShEvil: 101-127, ShEvil
With 5 minutes remaining ShEvil jammer Danymite (recent addition to the BAD travel team) made an uncontested pass on the outside for lead, and slid through a second time, like butter, for one, then two grand slams. On her third scoring pass, Murderyn Monroe delivered a devastating chest hit, which stunned Danymite long enough to let Sinnabar sneak in two points. Score 179-114, ShEvil.
With only minutes remaining, the skaters on the track were visibly fatigued but in no way disheartened. First, Pizza Party did a face plant, then Frightmare. Pizza Party recovered to get lead jammer only for Sweet Sherry Pie to take the ShEvil star pass from and chase her down for a scoreless jam. Danymite once again snatched lead jammer for the final jam, playing it conservatively, she added a few more points to ShEvil’s score then called the jam off to end the game.
SAN FRANCISCO SHEVIL DEAD:186
OAKLAND OUTLAWS: 114
Time will tell if these two teams play each other again this season. Oakland Outlaws next face the Berkeley Resistance on 5/13, while San Francisco ShEvil Dead takes on the Richmond Wrecking Belles on 6/3. Both games will be held at The Station and are part of our discounted BAD Deal which includes the doubleheader Championship at the Craneway Pavilion on 8/19.
The high level of play doesn’t come without hard work and a serious time commitment. “The women that I skate with are leaving their families and partners to come to practice three or four nights a week after 8-, 10- and 12-hour days,” said Kensington resident Katie Reyes-Salcedo, 31, known as Bay Area Derby’s “Murderyn Monroe.”
We’re hella excited to announce that BAD’s starting weekly men’s roller derby drop-in practice sessions! No commitment just a drop-in opportunity to get together with other dudes and learn how to play roller derby. It all begins on Saturday March 25, 2017.
WHAT: BAD Dudes
WHEN: Saturdays, recurring starting on March 25, 2017
TIME: 12 – 2 pm
WHERE: BAD HQ
COST: $10 (cash at the door)
Ages 18 and up. No skating experience necessary. But you do need to bring your own skates and protective gear – mouth guard, wrist guards, knee pads, elbow pads, and helmet. Borrow it all from a friend or buy yourself something new and shiny from Quad Republic Skate Co. online.
As the 2017 BAD home team season commences, the Oakland Outlaws’ “#girlgang” motto is in full effect as veteran coaches prepare to “bring on and bring up” their recent draftees. The new roster additions provide raw talent to the Outlaw family whose team goals for 2017 include winning, training, and skating 110%—while mixing in comedy and laughs!
2016 Record: 3-1
All-time League Record: 19-14
Player Losses: #5678 Bully Elliott, #72 Chop Ramen, #29 Dual Hitizen, #40 Val Hella, #33 Vee, #777 Jane Hammer, #82 Brute E. Pie
Player Additions: #85 ButtN MashHer, #45 Lethally Blonde, #49 Raven Evergore, #246 Sinnabar, #313 Smother Mary
Coach Huck Sinn notes, “it is always rewarding to be part of a teammate’s first year with the Outlaws—to experience the pride and bonding within the team as the season unfolds. The Outlaws’ 2017 goals are to tailor the game focus around the new squad. The Outlaws are known as the team who raises the bar together, achieves goals set together all with accountability. . .together.”
Roster additions include: Raven Evergore, a recent transfer from Rat City, bringing a high level of game play with a passion for margherita pizza. Sinnabar demonstrating tenacity and drive. Butt’N MashHer and Smother Mary both bringing new energy. Rounding out the draft is the uplifting Lethally Blonde, rejoining the Outlaws after a four season hiatus. The stars have finally aligned for veteran BAD skater, Huck Sinn, allowing her to shift from jamming and introduce her alter-ego “Tiger Beat” as a blocker for the 2017 home team season.
Coach Bunn reinforces the newness of the team by stating, “roster turnover is exciting, allowing veteran skaters the chance to mentor new skaters allowing empowerment within the team to work together and lead by example.” The 2016 Outlaw roster losses include: Bully Elliott, Chop Ramen, Dual Hitizen, Val Hella, Vee, and most noticeably Jane Hammer.
“Losing Jane Hammer as a key blocker for the Outlaws is a huge loss on the track. Hammer, a founding member of the Outlaws, provided an amazing sense of calm on the track,” according to Huck. The good news is that Hammer will anchor the team from the sidelines as their bench coach and help support growth of the new Outlaws.